I left Adams around 2am, and I'm kinda sad right now :/ 

He leaves for Guam for a little bit more than 2 weeks. But, it's for his job, so neither of us really get that choice, the best part is, HE GETS BACK RIGHT BE FOR XMAS. I might not celebrate it, but I don't mind having a cuddle with him on the 25th :) It would be nice, and I'm really glad he gets back right before my shutdown week begins! I need to hop on Xmas shopping for my fam though, I won't do much, but I'll do enough to make them all happy. 

 

And, to top of all my Sunday night is well, a guy that I was talking to months and months ago after Jared and I broke up told me he loves me. He just sent me a text saying "Good Night, I Love You Bunches" I honestly had NO way to respond to that, and all I did was sent a smiley face back. I don't think it was the best way to reply to that, but I'm still in a period of shock. THEN! Saturday, Adam told me he loves me :) It made me smile :) Though I wish his friend would stay out of his room for once in a while, so Adam and I could have had a decent fucking conversation. 

 

Well, I'm having a pain in the chest :( 

So G'nite! :) 

Before I start blabbing on about everything else, happy belated mothers day to all the lovely mums out there!!! (I'm staying up until 2:30 in the morning to watch family guy..) But today, Mum, I and all of the kids went to Busch Gardens!! It was super fun :) Mum talked me into buying a two year pass (and now i'm talking jared into buying one too) I think It will be pretty awesome, instead of paying the usual 50ish dollars every time I want to go to the park! But my sister went with us dressed pretty well... A lot of older guys were turning their heads and nearly breaking their necks to see what she was walking with on...Very exposing.. And mum and I were pretty embarassed.

But this weekend, I think I'm more upset than usual...I feel like anxiety is getting the best of me..like really... Jared had to leave a little early because it was his mums birthday party and well, backstory, Jareds uncle doesn't believe in interracial relationships, and well, I believe he just doesn't like me, so really, when its family events that Jared is atteneding, I just don't go, I don't like being annoyed by assholes who are extremely close minded. So mum was like come with us! But, my anxiety, when he left, I wanted to cry, I felt alone even though I was in the house full of people! So now, I just keep thinking about him and its keeping me wide awake, But yes, the reason I'm wide awake, I work night shifts, so ya..I don't sleep til 3ish-4ish, which doesn't bother me, I get to watch the late night funnies! I just feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest right now! Ugh! I hate that feeling!!!!